The Smallest State in the Union

Rhode Island is a very small state. Everyone is linked to everyone else by a friend, a family member, the mailman or the guy who slices cheese at the supermarket deli counter. There is a guarantee that your massage therapist will tell you you have to meet Robin who just moved to Barrington because "you two would really hit it off", only to meet this Robin just a few weeks later at your neighbor Laura's holiday party. {True story. And we really did "hit it off." She's very cool.}

There is also a guarantee that at your uncle's funeral, you will talk to your cousin about your demolition project and all the trouble you've been having and have him ask who you are using, then hang his head down, shake it profusely and say, "No. No. Noooooo. Not them. Please tell me your not using them?!?!"

When we were looking at demolition contractors Dave called some well-respected general contractors he works with very regularly. We were given some names, called them all and got bids. The biggest company we called came in with the lowest bid that was also a fixed bid - the other candidates were only a bit higher in their pricing, but couldn't guarantee dumpster costs and said "well, it'll probably cost this much for dumpsters, but it could be higher." It made sense to use the big guys who were cheaper and came highly recommended by a great general contractor who had used them to demolish a large, waterfront home here in town several years back.

So we hired them, inspections went smoothly and then we hit the permitting process and everything began to fall apart. Problems here. Problems there. Problems, problems everywhere. I began to wonder how we could have been recommended a company this bad, by someone we know and trust. It didn't make any sense. Was this just our job? Everything that could possibly go wrong just would?

I know your saying right now, "But they came and knocked-down the house. What's the problem?" Well, they came Tuesday around 10:30am and then left at 12pm. So they worked for 1.5 hours. In that time 95% of the house was knocked down, which is good. But then they left that heap of twisted metal, splintered boards and broken glass to sit overnight. After only working for 1.5 hours. Did I mention that… 1.5 hours! Then the guy Dave deals with over there had the nerve to call and ask for another 1/3 of the fee. Nope. Sorry. No more money for you until the giant dangerous pile of rubble is gone. He and Dave fought a bit about this on the phone yesterday morning before we left for the funeral.

{Site at 12pm on Tuesday}

So, there is my cousin James shaking his head in total disbelief that we've hired this company and now Dave and I are starting to sweat a little in our fancy clothes as to why he is having such a strong reaction. It turns out that my cousin and his ex-wife, Gina, are friends with the guy who owns the demo company. He and Gina grew up together in the same neighborhood and we got the backstory: the company was owned by the father, who died just a couple of years ago, and the son (who is friends with my cousin) took over the company. This finally all makes sense to me now. When the job was done for the guy who recommended them to us, the demo company was being run by the dad. It is now being run by the son and obviously they have very different working styles, which is well-known among his friends.

James then told us, "Call him and tell him your my cousin. Things will be very different. You'll see. Totally different. Make sure you call him and tell him. Do it!!" Now, my cousin is a big guy. He tells you to do something, you do it. Gina also said that she would call him directly and if things still weren't OK, she'd call his mother for us!! She then rattled off his mother's phone number which she knows by heart, and laughingly told us we should call her too. She'd "slap her son upside his head" if she knew what was going on.

Wouldn't that be great… his mom comes by a job site and starts yelling at him for a crappy job he's doing for clients in Barrington and when he asks how she knows this, she's says we called her house and ratted him out!!! Oh… but that would be fun.

Dave did indeed make the phone call yesterday and upon hearing who we were related to, the tone changed immediately… suddenly we would be getting more trucks at our site to make sure we were done before the snow tomorrow and he would look at the bill to see if he could "shave a bit off."

Well… there are no extra trucks today. Still just the one. We were promised that it would all be done today, that did not happen. However, there was great progress made today. All of the house, garage, decks and animal pens are gone. Completely gone. Hauled off to the Johnston Landfill. Still sitting on the lot are some trees and the two sheds in the back. The workers have gone for the day, but they left the big machine and a half-filled dumpster. Both excellent signs that they won't be gone too long. One good thing that has come out of having an "in" with the demo company is there is no more mention of paying them another 1/3 of the fee right now. So there's that.

{Site at end of day Thursday}

I've decided to run all our potential contractors past my cousin James to see if he or his ex-wife or his mailman or the guy who slices cheese at his local supermarket know anything about them. This is Rhode Island after all.

The house that won't go away.

Holy guacamole!!!

When you have two young children living in your house, this is what you say instead of: Holy fucking fuck fuck!!!! Oh, wait… I'm blogging and Tate can't read very well yet… so let me amend…

Holy fucking fuck fuck!!!!!

It's Tuesday night and the house still stands.

Monday morning we were prepared for the start of tear-down, called the demo company and waited a half hour for a call back. We were told that they were finishing up another job and would deliver the equipment later in the day and then get started. So I drove Tate to school and Dave headed off to work. Early afternoon brought about the latest in screw-ups by the demo company. The bond… dun dun dun dunnnnnnn…..

They screwed it up. Are you surprised? I wasn't.

Where they were supposed to list the Town of Barrington, they listed Dave's employer. Yup. Dave's employer. I'm not really sure what a bond exactly is — some type of insurance that the job will be done and done right. Right? But, I do know that it is official and serious. No work could be done without the issue of a new, corrected bond and then a new demolition permit.

Today at noon, that new demolition permit was issued. But tomorrow we are getting snow. Supposedly, a lot of it. Knowing what the forecast was, the demo company called off any work for today — the smartest thing they've done yet. The lot is super small and their equipment and trucks are super big. A snow storm usually brings with it a parking ban and so their trucks, that would need to be on the street, would have no place to sleep tonight with a parking ban in order.

The new "plan" — I use that term loosely — is the arrival of equipment and trucks on Thursday, to be directly followed by house crunching. Friday will be the day to clear the debris, with the tree guys coming back to the site early next week to take out the monster pine.

Meanwhile, the champagne in the refrigerator is feeling neglected and abandoned. I hope to make it feel loved and wanted very soon.

Notification

Along with a new blanket of snow, the house also got a notice. A poster-sized paper, with bold, black lettering clearly stating the fate of the house. A demolition notice.

Part of the town's permitting process is that a notice be placed on the doomed house at least three days before demolition or the owner's will be in violation of the ordinance. We know this. We have a copy of the ordinance. So Friday, three days before the supposed demolition, there was no notice on the house. 3pm… no notice. Dave called the demo company.

Dave: When are you going to get the notice up.

Co.: Oh, we've got three printed out and we are going to be at the house tomorrow to put them up.

Dave: Nope. You need to do it today.

Co.: No, we're going to do it tomorrow.

Dave: The notice needs to be up three days before demo.

Co.: No. Just two days.

Dave: No. Three days.

Co.: I talked to the building guy and I'm pretty sure he said as long as it's up two days before we're good.

Dave: No. It's three days. I'm absolutely sure, it's three days. It needs to go up today.

Co.: No, really, it's fine. It can go up tomorrow.

Dave: Really, it's three days. Would you like to know how I know? I'm on the Zoning Board. This new ordinance came before our board recently. I voted on it. Right here in my hand is a copy of the ordinance. Here, let me fax it to you.

Co.: Oh. Ummmm…. okay. I'll go over there today and put up the notice.

Dave: Don't bother. I've already done it.

Tomorrow, that notice should end up in a dumpster along with the entire house. Should. Should end up in a dumpster. There have been too many problems and too many miscommunications for us to feel fully confident that it will really happen tomorrow. But we are prepared anyway. Grandparents are coming to take care of the kids. Tate's staying out of school for the day to see the knock-down. Camera memory cards have been cleared and batteries have been charged. Most importantly, a bottle of champagne is chilling in the fridge, to be hopefully popped open when the gigantic arm of a backhoe smashes through our house.

If a tree does not fall on your property, it does not make a sound.

Screw-ups and false starts are great fuel for the blog. Right? Then, consider this my gift to you. It allows you to read along, while sitting comfortably on your couch, ensconced in a blanket, maybe a cup of coffee or a glass of wine in hand, and laugh while thinking, "Those poor bastards… glad that's not me."

So, I drove Tate to school this morning and we decided to go past the house on our way there. Lo and behold, out front was a ginormous, green bucket truck, a chipper/shredder and a dump truck all emblazoned with the tree services logo. Yeah!!!! They are here. They showed up. They are going to do their job. It was a beautiful sight. I was so excited!! I dropped Tate at school, stopped by the bagel shop to grab a bagel for myself and a muffin for Simone and headed back home to eat. We drove past the house again and the guys were unloading ropes… a good sign.

During breakfast, I decided that when we were done, Simone and I would walk up to the house and snap a few photos of the trees coming down. As breakfast wrapped up, Dave walked through the front door and just moments later the big, green tree service truck drove past… away from the house, the trees and the work. "What's going on?"

Turns out the tree service was only going to take down a huge pine tree at the side of the house. This tree straddles our property and our neighbor's property too. Many of it's branches rest comfortably on the roof of our neighbor's garage. Access to this tree is down the very narrow side yard, with probably only 7 feet of work space before you bump into our house on one side or the neighbor's aforementioned garage on the other, not to mention the fence that blocks a lot of that access area. Did I say that this tree is also really huge. Really huge. And tall. The demo company felt that their equipment could handle felling all the trees on the property, except for this one. So they hired the tree experts with the big green trucks to handle this one pine.

{super tight work area}

Well, big, green truck tree service quoted the price for the tree to come down AFTER the house had been demolished. The ever-screwing-up demo company did not know this, and thought that Big Pine would come down BEFORE the house was leveled. Apparently, the tree could come down today, but it would require more climbing from the tree guys, meaning more time, really meaning more money. After a conversation with their supervisor, the men with the big, green trucks packed up and headed for other trees that needed to be felled.

This was sad.

Stumped

Tomorrow... we get to celebrate.

TEAR DOWN!!!

Well, the beginning of tear down. If all goes right, and the workmen aren't afraid of a little snow shower, the trees in the front yard come down tomorrow and some large equipment gets delivered to sit over the weekend in anticipation of tearing down the house on Monday.

I have some reservations about this actually happening. This house should have been down over a month ago. The demo company seemed to have dropped the ball on the permitting process with the town, and we are only this far along because Dave stepped in, made a bunch of phone calls, set up meetings and made sure everyone finally knew what they needed to do. Part of the process includes notification letters within 10 days of demo, to all the neighbors within a 200 foot radius that the house is being demolished. Those letters did go out…

{Laura happily holding her letter}

I now await the sound of chainsaws and then I will begin jumping for joy! Oh, I suppose I should head out to stock up on champagne. With any luck, I'm going to need it come Monday!

Special thanks to my wonderful neighbor Laura for not only calling me to tell me the letter arrived, but also for humoring me by posing for the cheesy photo.

Silver-lined Toilets

A few days ago, as the clock ticked it's minutes away into the New Year and I drank champagne, we entered the year the house would be built. 2011 :: The Year of the House! I'm also hoping that it will be 2011 :: The Year of Champagne! We have lots to look forward to and lots to celebrate, and I plan on doing so as often as possible. I'm going to celebrate all the milestones in this project, even if they've occurred with mountains of stress beforehand, or precede molehills of crazy afterwards. I'm going to look at the bright-side of all the sheets of plywood and remember that every toilet has a silver-lining. I will not get mired down in the slog of concrete or worry about a rusty nail or two. The crazy will happen - it's unavoidable - but my reaction to it can be of my choosing. And I'm choosing celebration! And champagne.